Almost every single tweet headline from the Washington Post, in the past 24 hours, was a hand grenade lobbed onto Republicans, Donald Trump and the 2020 Presidential election. No surprise there I hear you cry. But today I’m going to examine a few of the kinda innocuous headlines rather than just mutter through them as…
Author: Jean-Paul O'Satire
Guinness scientists make major breakthrough on Corona-virus vaccine
Breaking News: Alcohol scientists embedded deep in the barrel of the Guinness brewery at St James Gate in Dublin 8 have made a massive breakthrough in developing an anti-dote for the corona-virus. Guinness held an international press briefing at it’s marquee Gravity Bar this evening to announce details of their discovery. Early on Sunday…
Adam Schiff announces the release of new Whistleblower manuscript
In a startling turn of events late on Friday, Adam Schiff has announced the publication of a new whistleblower book he has authored. It came moments after the US Senate voted 51-49 against bringing forward additional witnesses at the Senate impeachment trial of President Donald Trump. In a statement released to the media by…
New Black and Tan memorial fixed for Easter Monday.
An 11th hour brainwave from a Fine Gael brains trust has seen Minister for Justice Charlie Flanagan cancel today’s Black and Tan memorial. This newly constituted think tank is recommending that the memorial for the Royal Irish Constabulary should now take place on Easter Monday. And every Easter Monday thereafter. In a joint statement from…
Iranian Hackers confused by DNC website. Iranian Flag already on 487 different pages
Breaking News…. Earlier today Iranian computer scientists hacked into the website of the DNC and were perplexed to find that the Iranian flag was already prominently featured on 487 different website pages. Furthermore, a number of draft press releases were discovered by the Iranian rascals that seem to indicate the DNC were ready to announce,…
CNN Presidential Poll Reveals ” Too many damned Republicans answering our calls “
Latest CNN polling data reveals that too many damn Republicans are answering their mobile phones. Polling experts have agreed to adjust polling algorithms to ensure Snapchat voters, Tree huggers, Mainstream media, IVY league professors and ghost whistle-blowers are properly represented in future CNN polls. Unbiased CNN pollsters agree, recent Impeachment polls, are too skewed in…
Cenk Uygur – outraged by Bill preventing egomaniacs using the word ‘humbled’
Democratic 2020 Congressional candidate in #CA25 and all-round humble pie merchant Cenk Uygur is reluctantly making headlines today. He and other social media Democrat politicians are seeking to block legislation being brought by House Republicans ahead of the congressional 2020 elections in November. The Bill entitled – Egomaniac crimes against the use of the word…
1989 State Papers: Haughey promises Mayo GAA ‘ Famine is Nearly Over’
State Papers 1989 The 1989 General election and Mayo football features prominently in the release today of the State Papers from the same year. Taoiseach, Fianna Fail Leader and Castlebar native Charles Haughey called a snap general election in June 1989. In Mayo, a FF campaign promising to deliver Sam Maguire, within the life-time of…
AOC promises to replace Wall Street with a windmill
President Donald Trump recently announced the 37,684th record high of the US Stock market to take place during his presidency. In retaliation, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has promised to replace Wall Street with a nice, appropriate sized windmill. The Wall street windmill is expected to generate at least $4.87 a month in revenue. Democrats point…
Varadkar blocks Emergency Legislation outlawing public displays of 6 packs.
The Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has plunged his minority government into crisis over the festive holidays. A Fianna Fail motion banning the public display of 6 packs during the the upcoming election campaign has been met by stiff resistance by the Fine Gael Leader and Taoiseach – Leo Varadkar. Varadkar launched his party’s general election campaign…